Since my awakening in 2010, I have considered myself to be a free spirit in the sense that I never really felt that I quite fit into this society, but I discovered an inner light and my soul greatly resonated with the ideas of living a life of freedom, charisma, deep love and simple joys…although my lifestyle didn’t always support these ideas. But the fact that I recognized this and took the time to reflect on what brings the most meaning and purpose into my existence was the first and most important step in creating the life I’ve always imagined. During this process, or journey rather, the most vital step in attaining what I was really looking for came through meditating and changing my own thoughts and actions.
I noticed how, at times, I could be living my dream vacation with loved ones and still feel empty or dark, and other times I could wake up at 5 am for a long day of work with difficult patients and still feel a peaceful energy. It became clear that the way to the freedom and the unique lifestyle I so desired had to come from myself. Of course, it didn’t need to stop there- I still traveled to every continent and fulfilled my career dreams and fell into an indescribable life with my husband- but it all started there, deep within myself. I knew I could try to adjust other people and things to my liking, but I didn’t have a right to get everything I wanted. Even today, I am constantly striving to reach new levels and make the most of every decision, while balancing it with my inevitable responsibilities to others and society.
But what I know now is that my happiness has to be up to me. I am responsible for my inner joy, and for taking care of myself inside and out, and for self-love. I am in charge of deciding to see the positive and feel loved by my family and friends, and spreading it back and outwards no matter what. I am free to choose my career, how to manage my finances, and how to balance home life with extra outside activities. It is entirely up to me to let go of the bad and focus on the good and live a life full of laughter that is present in each moment. Now, I try to appreciate what I have, let go of what I can’t control, and just have faith…but most of all I am grateful simply for the freedom to decide to do it my way.