I wish the emotions in my heart would flow as simply and easily as the words on this screen, but unfortunately, life is more complicated than that so all I can do is try my best. I have always limited the public expression of my feelings in regards to the relationships in my life, so this may be one of the most open blogs I’ve ever written and it’s a little difficult for me…but it’s something I want to share. Basically, I had an emotional breakdown a couple of days ago because I felt that I had tried literally everything I possibly could to deal with my feelings about some close relationships in my life and I felt so overwhelmed and defeated because I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t let go of the heartache from the past, I couldn’t handle how I felt in the current situation, and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of that tunnel, which resulted in inevitable anxiety. After some time had passed (I’m not quite sure how long), I came across this quote that I’d always heard but never paid much attention to:
And things shifted into perspective. I couldn’t let one negative aspect of my life become more powerful than the countless positive ones. I realized I had to accept that I cannot change the past and I have to have faith in the future. No matter what had happened in the past, I had to be strong and no matter what the future would hold, I had to face it with courage. It is important to me to live each moment fully, in faith, with laughter as the best medicine. Since I had tried everything on my end, I decided to let go and let God. I made up my mind in that moment that I would try my absolute best with what I have, and trust in the Universe for the rest. Sometimes, life can be tough, and right now, I have proof of that only in my heart…but I still have so much positivity in my life and I am still a free-spirit of God.
Enter the ten-day transformation. I decided that every day for ten days, I would do what I feel is the hardest, yet most rewarding, thing to do, and push myself to my limits. Wake up at 4 am in the cold to go meditate and pray, read a chapter per day of “Stillness Speaks” (which conveniently consisted of ten short chapters on spirituality- review to come), partake in a ten-day smoothie cleanse program, workout daily no matter what, completely let go of past heartaches & trust with all my heart that faith will heal it, and truly use laughter to bring light in each moment because after these ten days have passed, Rehan (my husband) is coming to town for ten days until the end of the year. I have high hopes that with faith and determination, I will reap all the rewards of my hard work because God’s magic is greater than anything we can imagine. I will be sure to give you all an update at the end of these ten days and share my progress, hopefully positive, in every aspect of my life.