Self-Advice

Last week, one of my best friends came to me feeling very upset because a random trainer at the gym told her that she would never succeed. Even though she knew she was eating well, working out, and had made incredible progress over the past year, she was still so hurt by the false words of someone whom she had never met. On the same day, another close friend was feeling down about the fact that she was misunderstood when it came to her faith, and despite knowing that she had done nothing wrong, she still felt overly guilty over the opinion of someone who simply did not share her religious viewpoint. The next day, yet another close friend was upset because even though she had put forth her best efforts in wedding planning, she was accused of not doing something that she rightfully had no time to do on a day she had to work- still, she allowed herself to feel hurt and guilty even though she knew there was truly no reason to be. And lastly, one of my aunts, who has literally put her heart and soul into taking care of her husband and children day and night for over twenty years, was accused of being a bad wife and mother; I was appalled that a statement that was so utterly untrue had the power to lead her into a downward spiral of misery despite her strong knowledge that the accusation was false. And this was all only just in the past week.

To each and every one of these people who are so close to me, I gave the same advice. I understand that someone mistakenly blaming you for a wrongdoing can be upsetting- it’s hurtful and not very nice or fair. But each of them had clear and obvious proof that the accusations thrown at them were one hundred percent false. They had each done their best, with good intentions, and not done anything wrong on their part. Yet, when they were put down and fingers were pointed at them, they were so easily and deeply hurt by believing what the other person saying over their own knowledge that it was false. These women are four of the most amazing women in my life and it was unbelievable to see them so upset over false accusations that were not their fault, nor in their control. You simply cannot give another human being more control over your self-worth than you do for yourself- I know, I know, this is much easier said than done.


So now, I have to take my own advice. During a recent weekend vacation, a girl who I had never met before accused me of being a bad nurse, emotionally unstable, petty and immature and just too crazy. Throughout the trip, she spoke highly of herself in every regard, and talked down about each of my friends behind their backs, having only known each of us for less than a couple of days. She controlled everyone else’s actions based on what she felt was best for herself without considering what others wanted, and used her parent’s endless source of money to hold over our heads. I know that in the past, I would have been very bothered by someone acting in this way and calling me such horrendous names. But now, because I am confident in who I am and the knowledge that none of those describe me, I have to remind myself that the opinion of someone who doesn’t know me simply does not matter- only those who are unhappy with their own life spend their energy finding faults in others. This was further proven when I took the mature step of removing her from my social media account, and she continued to send texts behind my back claiming that she is too mature and I am too petty. 


It goes to show once again, that no matter who you are and what you do, there will be someone who doesn’t like or agree with you. But if you stay strong in the knowledge of who you are and do your best, then karma and life will take care of the ones who judge others; after all, have you ever seen a truly joyful soul put forth such great efforts to constantly speak highly of themselves and control and put down others? When you are confident in who you are and actively putting forth your best efforts, there is no one whose opinion should be so impactful that it goes deep into your heart and overpowers your opinion of yourself. 

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