This is one of the most difficult times and semesters of my entire life, second only to a death in my immediate family when I was younger because of the impact it had on my family. It is a struggle for me not only because the classes are more challenging and busier than ever before, but also because I have to apply to jobs and residencies, study for the NCLEX everyday, and work 24-36 hours a week for clinical at the same time (for which I obviously do not get paid). I have been suffering from extreme mood swings and anxiety, which makes it a lot harder to deal with all of this. On top of that, I am also going through a break up; however, I do not want to get into any details on that. I have so much going on that anything in my past seems trivial, and I finally understand what people mean when they say they are so busy, they have no time to think about what’s going on!
Just in case the universe felt that simply was not enough for me to endure, I also had to spend the day in the ER for a kidney stone- a pain worse than childbirth, if you can imagine that. The ambulance brought me to the hospital an hour after the pain began, and they ran several tests before giving me enough pain medications to be effective. The worst part is that because I turned 26 last month, I am currently in my grace period in between insurances. I also have to call about my ambulance bill and ER bill, and make an appointment for a urologist for a follow-up. I have never before dealt with such intense health and financial problems before in my life. And, if I have not emphasized this enough already, I do not remember ever having been as busy in my life as I am and will be at least for the first half of this year.
I am not sure how to have enough time and energy to make it through each day with all of this, while still doing the other things I have no choice but to do. Thankfully, these problems are all temporary; I know that my faith and the overwhelming support I have from such amazing family, friends, and community can get me through anything- life goes on, one day at a time. Still, it would be nice to catch a break for a while!
PS- I just found out that the NICU where I have clinicals has RSV going around, so I will have to be tested for that and come back negative before I can continue there.
PPS- I was registered for an elective at the beginning of this semester that I didn’t want to take, so I submitted my drop form within a few days. Today, I found out that I need permission to be dropped from the course within the next 2 days, and my professor responded back saying that she thinks my priorities are out of order! Nursing school is my very top priority in life right now, and just because I do not wish to take an extra elective due to personal reasons, does not mean nursing is not my priority- I politely explained that in my email response to her, and hope I can get the class dropped as soon as possible.
PPPS- To try to end on a positive note, my sister finally got her license and I am so proud of her and happy about how much time it will save my mom and I for having to drive her around everywhere!