“I see beautiful in ____.” This is the fill-in-the-blank competition from “See Beautiful” that I just came across on FB, fitting perfectly into where I am going with this blog today. A couple of weeks ago I posted on social media that I registered a reality television star at work, abruptly after which I got a conference call from my supervisor, human resources, and legal services asking me about the post and telling me to delete it. I removed the post during that conversation, and learned from my mistake to never do something like that again, and so I thought it was over.
Little did I know that over these past couple of weeks, it had actually been turned into a severe HIPAA violation case that was moving upward in the workforce hierarchy all leading up to the second conference phone call I just received annulling me from employment at the organization altogether. Despite the fact that it was my first and innocent violation of any policy, and that I immediately removed the post, understood my mistake, and apologized, the most severe form of punishment was given.
This organization was my lifelong aspiration and my future dream to work there as a nurse was one of my ultimate goals in life. And all because of one mistake, that was all taken away from me. Needless to say, I was shocked and upset and unable to think calmly or rationally for a good while after the conversation ended. However, thanks to my faith, and a little help from my mother and one of my best friends from college, I was able to “see beautiful in the challenges of life that make us stronger.”
Like I always say, I know who I am and what my life is all about in the big picture of my faith, but it means nothing unless and until I am able to apply it in a life situation. There is so much good in my life, that even though this bad thing happened, I know I will be okay. Struggles are the meaning of life, and our purpose is truly to embrace these struggles because that is what makes us alive. Things could always be worse, and nothing bad lasts forever. Anybody can be happy when everything is going well, but only true happiness that comes from faith can bring warmth in the cold and clarity within the unknown. Faith does not only mean belief in the existence of God, but rather unconditional trust in His universal power; all the good I am able to see even this worst of situations simply strengthens my trust in God and reminds me that even though it may not be apparent in the moment, everything He does is for a reason. This is just another challenge life has thrown my way, that I am going to embrace because it just so happened to make a little bit wiser than I was before.
I am happy to have been able to work at my dream organization for the entire year I was able to. It is good that I learned this lesson now, when it is just a job, than if I had to learn it as part of my nursing career for which the circumstances could have led to the revoking of my license and reputation as a nurse. It reiterated to me that one mistake can make a big impact, and to not trust anyone except myself and the very closest of family and true friends. If I had to lose this job, this is the perfect time; it is the week before nursing school begins and I’m quitting my ten year voluntary service at the community library too, so now I will be able to give my undivided attention to my life goal of becoming a nurse. I am grateful that I do not have bills to pay or a family to feed and that this was merely a job, a material aspect of life that comes and goes and has no significant spiritual meaning in the grand scheme of life. Don’t get me wrong–I am in now way downplaying the seriousness of what happened–but I do know that the end of this job does not mean the end of my life, or my dreams.
On an entirely unrelated note, here is a totally share-worthy post from “See Beautiful” about loving yourself inside and out that describes my thoughts and feelings much better than I ever could:
Your body helps you do spectacularly awesome things. Right? Jump in puddles. Give hugs. Flail about as if you’re Monica from FRIENDS thrashing in the bathtub. Drum out some tunes with the palm of your hand on your knee – you’re a musical instrument.
Your body is uniquely your own. It is beautiful.
…We’re not here to tell you that your mind and your body have to share the two halves of the BFF necklace. You don’t. But, growing so detached from your body with hate and disgust creates a lack of respect between the two – which can bleed into other relationships you have in your life.
For example, standing in front of a mirror you belittle the way you look. Your daughter hears. She looks in the mirror and stares at the most beautiful woman she’s ever seen and stops to think about what she’s missing. She doubts herself. If the beauty she sees isn’t beautiful, what is?
Bonding experiment (since you and your body seem to hang out more than, um, anyone else you ever could): Find your happy balance. See beautiful when you pass your reflection. Feel beautiful as you walk into a room (it’s what everyone else already sees anyway). The more you see beautiful in yourself the more your mind begins to see beautiful in everything. Then you start to celebrate it. Then you create more of it.
You see, this “seeing beautiful” thing is a cycle. See beautiful to grow beautiful.”