A few weeks ago I mentioned what I thought was one last resistance standing between me and where I wanted to be, the hurt of loss which faded away as I realized how beautiful and brave it is that I have loved. Shortly thereafter came another resistance which was unveiled as I realized I was resisting emotions all together, which were, in reality, working for me rather than against me. And now, I see there was one last resistance I have become aware of that would not have been possible to recognize if not for the events of the past year and my personal journey of the past decade, and more imminently the past couple of months.
That is, an entirely new concept of living in the present moment. I always thought I had to get out of my mind in order to be fully present in the here and now, with breathing and sensory perceptions and mental awareness. But that, in itself, was also a resistance. The thing is, we all live our entire lives inside our mind, and that is actually perfectly normal and okay. I can live my whole life within the confines of my mind, and once I let go of the resistance to feeling love and other emotions, the space clears out to feel nothing but peace and being…as long as you do your best to make your mind a positive place within which to reside.
We live our entire lives within the confines of our mind. He who can control his mind, can control his mind.
I always wanted a partner with whom life would feel like an endless adventure, even in the mundane ordinary moments. It’s ironic that now that I am entirely on my own, I finally feel that way about each moment of each day despite outside circumstances. I continue to carry this beautiful bliss of inner peace, which grows stronger each day. Giving myself the permission to freely and unapologeticcaly live in the moment within my mind has allowed my life to become my personal playground, where every day feels like a vacation; even when the stressful times roll around, it is beautiful that it is mine.
I am just a masterpiece trying to master peace.
The occasional sting of loss and loneliness which I have become more used to over time still hits me here and there, keeping me humble and reminding me of the power I have within me to love. At times, even a slight worry arises when I wish to find a partner and start a family, but I am always reminded that these emotions are sent from the Universe with love, and I have so much love, and faith that everything happens at the right time exactly as it is meant to be. And it is exactly for this reason that I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.