Sometimes, things have to get worse before they get better, and that is precisely what they did. But today, I realized something I already knew- and that is that whatever is meant to happen will happen no matter what I do. Yes, there are certain aspects of my life I can have a direct impact on, but the things going on in my life right now that are less than ideal are completely out of my control. I cannot control the amount of work I have to do to get my to my greatest goals, I cannot control anyone else’s actions or feelings towards me no matter how hard I wish, and I cannot control specific health issues for which the only medical cure is time. I cannot control the what happened in the past or guarantee the future I’ve always dreamed of. Whether I am happy or sad, life will continue, so I can either drown in my sorrows and feel sorry for myself, or I can focus on all the positive aspects of my life and just decide to be happy. 

This is obviously much easier said than done, but everything that has happened has only reminded me of my own strength of self and brought me even closer to my faith. Some people have been very helpful on this journey- close family and friends, certain peers and staff members and strangers; others have been happy to see me fall and been more discouraging and uncaring than I ever could’ve imagined, but ultimately, I am the only one who can change my life and feel like myself again. Life is by no means perfect- it is difficult, it is challenging, at times it is sad and unfair and cruel- but I have never been one to complain or dwell on the negative and I am ready to get back into life full force. If I cannot control my fate, then I have to control my attitude and focus on the beauty of life while keeping in mind its temporary nature and what really matters- faith, compassion, and living fully in each moment while I have the chance.