Always Searching For More

As mentioned countless times before, my ultimate purpose in life is about the struggles, the embracing of them, the overcoming of them, and most importantly, helping others to do the same. Of course I want to help and love everyone I encounter, but ultimately I’d like to go to a third-world country, and make a very significant, long-term, lasting, positive impact on a community of people I have never met. This of course, cannot be done without either a significant amount of time, or money, or both. Well, lately this has been consuming my thoughts. My life has never been going as smooth and steady as it is now, moving forward in a positive direction in nearly every aspect; I have never been more content with my own life, but I have never been less content with the conditions of others less fortunate before either. So I decided, after working and finishing up some things during the remainder of this year, to go work abroad teaching english in kenya while volunteering on the side.

Then, Hazir Imams farmans repeatedly emphasized the importance of a solid education as a stepping stone to achieve future goals. The more I thought about, the more I seemed to realize that maybe, I am being selfish and unrealistic. First of all, I am not a nurse yet, and therefore, have no real specialty or qualifications to make the kind of impact I dream of. Also, if I really want to make a difference, I can do that right here in children’s shelters or rehab centers, for which I actually have experience working with children and in psychology. Then the truth hit me further when I realized that maybe I am just looking for something more.Whatever it is, I know that my chancves are higher of finding it right here at home than they are of moving across the world to live alone in africa for half a year. Besides, my ideal plans have always been to work hard to build on my life during the year, and whether it be for business or liesure, to travel during the summers. Perhaps, there is no need to go across the world with no qualifications to do something I should be doing right here in my own community first.

Realizing this does bother me a bit because, besides my mom, so many people said I couldn’t and wouldn’t so it. Of course, this made me want to just do it out of spite, because I can. In the end though, its my life and I’m the one that has to live with my choices, so even though I’m always open to the ideas of others, the ultimate decision is up to me, and the rest in Gods hands. So, after much deliberating and thinking, here is my brand new and improved plan that I could not be happier with.

For the next year, I will live here and improve not only my own life, but also work hard at my job where I can make a difference, and perform community service right here in my own country. I will save up and volunteer for a few weeks in some third world country over the summers, and by the time I start nursing school I’ll have done all that I want to do in that sense. Then, after graduation, and building a life for myself, I can start planning for greater goals such as those expressed earlier. But until then, all I can do is work hard to strive for the best in every aspect of my life and patiently leave the rest to God.

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